(I took this photo the last time I ever hung out successfully with my old friend group)

Last summer was a weird one for me. It feels like yesterday but it's been nearly three months since Summer ended. 

This summer I lost some friends. Through no fault but my own. Well, initially. 

I won't get into the ins and outs of what happened but here's the gist. 

I told two friends about a secret best friend swore me to secret about. She found out six months later from one of the friends I told.

I apologised and apologised but my best friend wouldn't accept it. As a result, and knowing I had drifted from the group already, I said I'd leave the group and keep in contact with everyone separately so as not to see my best friend. I didn't want everything to be nice as pie to my face and then having everyone hate me behind my back. This didn't come across in my messages so a few of my other friends took it that I didn't wanna be their friend anymore. 

Cut to a few weeks later and I find that the little clique went on a lil escapade without telling anyone outside of their newly formed clique. I post an indirect on Instagram through a tag which doesn't go down well and results in me being completely hated by the clique.

While I am fully aware I was in the wrong to begin and it was so immature of me to indirect I learned something massive from it. Apart from the obvious don't tell a huge secret when I know I shouldn't. 

Never ever apologise more than once for a mistake. I'm not in anyway saying you shouldn't apologise. But give one sincere apology. And I mean really really mean it. If the other person won't forgive you, then that isn't someone you want to be friends with. It is nothing but immature and, if I'm honest, stupid. Especially from an old and best friend. 

I also learned this summer that some friendships aren't as meaningful or watertight as you'd think. I lost friends in June but have I missed them? Not at all. I haven't had a forced conversation, or been forced to listen to immature freak outs for FIVE MONTHS. But what I've enjoyed most is not hearing backhanded digs at me, my boyfriend or my general feelings. It's a horrible feeling to be scared to tell your closest friends things for fear of ridicule or mean comments. My real friends shone through and I'm closer than ever to all of them. And despite the fact they know I told a secret, they still trust me and I'm one of their best friends. They understand that people make mistakes and they agree with me on the whole issue. We are different people and have different personalities but we still GET each other. 

So to anyone reading this here's what you should take away from this post:

⁃ If you make a mistake give one sincere and meaningful apology and if it isn't enough don't give another. 

⁃ If friends leave you when there's a split in the group, they aren't your friends. No matter how long you've been friends or how close you thought you were. 

Everyone makes mistakes and if you learn from them then you shouldn't be too hard on yourself. Good things can come from mistakes which is exactly what happened to me. 

Thanks for reading and be sure to check out my social media.