Soap & Glory Thick and Fast High Definition Collagen Coat Mascara

I bought this MONTHS ago and tried to use it as soon as I did. However the wand of this mascara totally took me by surprise and completely put me off the product. It's bristles aren't evenly distributed like most other wands and instead are very long and think in three places. If, like me, you don't look out for this you'll be left (definitely like me) with a sore eye and mascara all around your eye. But I whipped this out a few weeks ago and got myself used to how to use it (I'm aware I'm talking about mascara and yes, I am being serious when I said I had to "get used" to using a mascara. Shoot me.) Once I was able to actually NOT poke myself in the eye this gave my lashes so much length. I often pull out my eyelashes for one reason or another and even with the current bald patch in my lashline I still had fluttery lashes. I'm so impressed with this. 

Rimmel London Kate Moss Lipstick in 107

I've probably talked about this lipstick before but I've fallen in love all over again. I usually wear this when I have to look put together but have slept in or generally don't have myself together. A light base, no eyeliner, fluttery eyelashes thanks to THAT mascara and a red lip will fool anyone into thinking you know what you're doing. They'll have no idea that the night before you were crying over GIRLS until 4am.

River Island Paris By Night Eau de Toilette

I've had quite a few high end perfumes and all of them have been presesnts. None have them have smelled as good as £80 should. But I was messing with the testers in River Island and got a whiff of this and IMMEDIATELY brought it to the till. To me it smells like confidence and sexiness. Two things that usually wouldn't be associated with Ang but I LOVE THIS SCENT. The major bonus of this was a 50ml bottle was £10. Better than any Chanel I've come across. 

Celestial Moisturizer Lush

I had never tried anything from Lush prior to this mosturizer and I was convinced it was an over priced brand relying solely on pushy shop floor staff. How wrong was I? This moisturzier fixed all my dry skin problems. It's so wonderfully thick it can even work as a primer better than the maybelline one I had been previously using. It has lasted me so long and I feel like my skin doesn't feel like my skin when I don't have this on.

St. Ives Apricot Scrub

Like I just said I have very dry skin in the winter and this scrub has, along with this moisturiser, completely aided my skin. I use this every other day and I'm left with invigorated and baby soft skin. Plus it's so wonderfully cheap and available in literally every chemist across Ireland. 

Boots Essentials Cleansing Lotion

Not gonna lie, I bought this accidentally thinking it was a moisturiser. I had bought it solely based on its scent. It has a fresh but not the typical overly clean hospital bleach smell a lot of cheap cleansers smell of. Once I'd figured this was actually a cleanser I used it to remove half my face and used my usual micellar water on the other half. THE DIFFERENCE WAS ALMOST INDESCRIBABLE. After using the cleanser I had soft and beautifully smelling skin where as with the micellar water I had washed out and dried out skin. Usually I'll use just the cleanser if I'm not wearing heavy or water proof make up. But if I am wearing heavier make up I'll use my micelllar water and then use this cleanser. 

Creightons Frizz No More Sleek and Shine Miracle Serum

This month I got my hair cut into a lob. But my curly and v v v frizzy hair didn't deal with the change too well. I had to use a serum to tame my curls but wanted to try some cheaper options before becoming addicted to higher end brands. I bought this on a whim in a very very cheap pharmacy I'd never normally considering buying from. But this is honestly such a game changer. My frizz is so much more tame and my natural curls are infinitely more defined and longer lasting. I no longer have to straighten my hair to be able to manage it. GAME CHANGER FOR JUST £1. INCREDIBLE.

River Island Bowling Bag

River Island bags have always been a little too structured and RIVER ISLAND for me. But I needed a new bowling bag for weekends away and traveling and I found this in the sale and couldn't help but buy it. My make up, curlers and outfits for a weekend away can easily fit into this bag. I definitely couldn't use it as a day to day bag as it's just TOO big and bulky but it works amazingly for nights away. 

Primark Boots

I had put myself on a Primark spending ban just after Christmas simply because according to my bank balance I'd spent an EXORBITANT amount of dollar in the store over Christmas. However as I ventured in one day in search of new underwear I found these. A slight heel to help me NOT look 12 and they are very winter and spring appropriate in that they're VERY water proof. I love wearing these to give me a lil confidence boost as I hear the click clack of my heels underneath me. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND I got them better than half price for €9.

The 1975

I Like It When You Sleep For You Are So Beautiful Yet So Unaware Of It was released just two days ago and I'm already head over heels. In the run up Matty and crew dropped a brand new track "Somebody Else" and this song is definitely my favourite of all the singles released so far. I adore the story it tells and how the story is portrayed. Expect an album review this week.

Grown Up Colouring Books

Thanks to my best friend for introducing me to the world of colouring books because prior to my awakening I thought they were slightly over priced and slightly a fad. BUT WOW. I have literally spent two hours non stop colouring today and I wish I could do more. So relaxing and a great way of taking your mind off everything. 

JOY

I have no idea why so many didn't think too highly of this movie but I honestly think this is my favourite film of all time. Definitely the best film I've seen in so long. I won't write too much about it for fear of spoiling this wonderful film but after this I felt so so inspired and invigorated. 10/10 would recommend. 

February hasn't been too jam packed but I hope you enjoyed this post! :) Thanks for reading.

(Credit to illustration owner. It amazes me that a piece of art can so accurate depict such true emotions in one simple back and white pencil drawing.) 

When was the last time you let yourself think? Really, really think. I don't let myself do it too often. In fact I don't think I properly thought, or let my mind be truly free, in months. I never put away my distractions because I didn't like what I found when my mind had free reign. In fact, I hated it. I shoved down everything that my brain brought up. I pushed every single anxiety and fear to the back of my mind and locked them away with a small tear and a quivering lip. 

I've been like this as far as I can remember.  When I was 8 years old I had a play date with a brand new friend, but I wasn't excited. Instead I clung to my fathers hand and cried. Even at that age I knew I shouldn't be feeling how I did so I blamed it on a cut I had on my knee. But over the years my anxieties and fears become normalised. I saw a part of myself in everyone around me, my dad was terrified of the dentist and my mum hated hospitals. My friend would shake when her dog went missing and my another had the shakes when their parents rang them. Every one of these was a part of me. 

       Despite 8 year old me knowing something wasn't right, I forgot about it and distracted myself with various things and have continued to ever since. I would meet with friends and talk about their problems and forget about mine. I'd go shopping and buy myself a pair of shoes specifically to wear when my head got loud again because the laces were awkward so I could distract myself again. I listen to music about happiness and love because one sad lyric could destroy the prison I made for what's wrong with my mind. 

      But the other day I put away my distractions and went to a party. I was drunk. And I was scared. For no reason at all my mind opened the lock on everything I'd pushed away and denied even feeling. Everything came spilling from my mouth. It felt like poison and my mind felt tired. I shook. I wept. I wanted to scream. I wanted to run my nails so hard into my flesh that it took away from the pain in my head. Everything felt so loud. I couldn't escape and I couldn't distract myself. 19 years of distraction dredged up things I wanted so badly to forget. I don't want to feel like this. I want to breathe freely again. I want to be able to write how I used to without having to stop because I can't think about that again. I want to be able to live in my hometown without wanting to escape because my mind won't shut up there.              So I'm taking steps. I'm not going to complain about the tiny problems I have anymore in order to distract those I'm complaining to, from asking me what's really wrong. I'll be honest and hope they can take what's coming. I'm going to eat healthier and exercise. As my best friend once said 'endorphins are powerful stuff' so it'll help my mind and body to calm itself. Finally it sometimes feels like I'm the only one around me that feels like this. It can be a very lonely time when I can't sleep or eat properly but feel like everyone else is too happy or busy to have a simple conversation. So I'm going to start the convo more often, instead of screaming into the void of tumblr or my diary. And if my friends read this they should know I'm always here to do the same for them. I know what it's like so I can at least try and help.