(Once again credit to artist and owner of this wonderful work of art.)
Recently I read How To Be A Woman by Caitlin Moran. I would honestly recommend this book to anyone with a vagina because it does something I simply haven't come across in literature before and it made me properly realise something. The female experience is something that isn't discussed enough. Despite the fact that half of the population of the earth is female, there are still many, many things about being a woman that are taboo. And I can't thank Caitlin enough for helping me come to this realisation. So I decided that I will try and help the situation in a very very small way by writing about my experiences with the more taboo aspects of being a woman. For those who are afraid to call a vagina a vagina or for those of a sensitive disposition you can click away now. This won't be for you.
I have never discussed this before apart from once, over a red faced iMessage convo with a friend I'm no longer in contact with. Before this conversation aged 16 I thought I was weird, disgusting, even a little gone in the head. See, before this conversation I thought female masturbation was wrong. I thought that this thing I'd discovered accidentally was shameful and should be kept my utmost secret. At 12 years old, about three months before I was to make my Confirmation I came across the clitoris. I'd like to point out at this stage that I still didn't really have ANY idea where the vagina was so I described everything in that general area as my bum. T W E L V E. ANYWAY, once I found this and once I had done the thing, I was overcome with shame. I was convinced that upon entering a church I would burn, that I would be forever bound to hell. But that didn't stop me from continuing to do the thing that made me guilty. HELL NO. Instead I would let my hand run wild then cry for an hour at my lack of self control and my anxiety for the next time I entered a church.
Over time I learned I was wrong. My skin didn't burn when holy water touched it and adults aren't able to tell how much of a heathen I was. Over time the guilt faded. But it was a secret I kept close to my chest until very recently, shared only with my boyfriend and joked about with friends. But here's my problem; male and female masturbation are treated very very differently. My biggest proof of this is that there isn't a single common slang word for female masturbation. And how many are there for male? We all know countless ones because it isn't held such a tight secret. There was never any shame to wank for boys, infact it was expected. But still there are girls around the world who are discovering themselves and their sexuality that believe playing with their clit is shameful and wrong. But it ain't. It's normal and healthy and helps you to discover your sexuality. We all know how awful it would have been to have our first every sexual encounter but have no knowledge of what actually works. Young boys are quite useless with the female anatomy so the more you can tell them what to do the better. You're educating them really.
By treating female masturbation as taboo we are doing a diservice to women and young girls everywhere. Play with your clit, find yourself. Don't ever let shame overshadow a solo orgasm again. Life is too short not to have sticky fingers every once in a while.
