How I Stopped Over Thinking (kinda)
16:49:00
(illustration credit to owner)
Yesterday I got my hair cut. An every day occurrence that really is nothing to write home about. It isn't often that a hair appointment will bring with it a moment of clarity but I am Angela, I'm nothing if not fond of an epiphany.
As I sat in the black fabric cape, halfheartedly muttering about my weekend, I heard the careful snips of scissors. Gentle but harsh as they separated me from something that I didn't even know was holding me back.
The thing is; I've wanted to cut my hair for around a year now. Maybe more if you count my OBSESSION with the hair Beyoncé debuted in her XO video. But I never went for it. I cut my hair, but never as short as I wanted. Scared and insecure I'd stop myself from jumping head and hair first into a change.
That was until two days ago when I just suddenly decided to book a hair appointment. I looked in my purse, saw some excess cash and rang my hairdresser. No wiki how's, Instagram tags or YouTube tutorials. I found two photos, sent them to a friend and asked her opinion. That was the only thought I put into this. Somehow, over thinking Angela had disappeared and in her place was pragmatic go for it Ang.
My hair turned out exactly how I wanted it and nothing bad happened. I just got what I had wanted for a year. And if something bad had have happened I would have simply dealt with it. No one would have died.
Here's what I realised as I sat draped in black as a hairdryer kicked in beside me. I had over thought for a year about something as small as cutting my hair. A YEAR. A tiny, uneventful thing in everyone's life. You can only imagine the bigger things I've talked myself out of time and time again because my brain couldn't.shut.up. Without even realising it, this haircut proved something for me. Overthinking doesn't have to be part of my life. It doesn't need to happen every time I want to do/achieve/buy something. It's something I've been conditioned to do by over protective parents and god knows what else.
I'm late to those 2016 CAN BE MY YEAR posts that clogged up my BLOGLOVIN. But I need to make and publish a list of a few things I'm going to do this year, despite my brain telling me not to.
- Join a writing class
- Join an exercise class
- Get out of my every day routine
- Get out of my town more
- WRITE MORE GODDAMMIT
- FINALLY REVIEW AN ALBUM
- FINALLY REVIEW A CONCERT
- FINALLY REVIEW A BOOK
- Buy that dress and those jeans and that lipstick
- If you wanna leave home for a while, go
- STOP DOING THE SAME THINGS AND BEING MISERABLE
It's a pretty simple list but you'd really be horrified at how little i step out of my comfort zone and routine. So here's to a more inspired, impromptu and spontaneous 2016.
THANKS FOR READING. I hope 2016 has been good so far.
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